I am well-familiar with the kind of client who, in a shy or perhaps even self-entitled tone of voice, asks if I conduct my sessions while “watching the clock.” This usually means that he would like me to go over our allotted time and not ask him to pay an additional tribute. Occasionally I do go “over time” with my clients, of my own volition, but by and large I am extremely busy with both sessions and “real life” commitments and simply don’t have the energy or freedom-of-schedule to regularly extend past the session’s end. It raises a bigger question though: why would someone ask that at all? I can certainly understand the offense of a service provider of *any* kind blatantly staring at their watch. It makes you the client feel like you don’t matter to your Domme and furthermore is totally avoidable–hello, put a clock on the wall? periphery glances? But to ask that any professional female not hold herself to the same standards of another business owner or freelance service provider is, when examined, an act of quiet misogyny. That is a bold statement but I challenge anyone to convincingly refute it.

I like the metaphor of a hotel: would you go into a hotel and pay for one night, then expect them to grant you a week’s free stay? There is an important difference in the comparison between a ProDomme and a hotel though: a ProDomme has to present the illusion of a nonprofessional setting. In other words, most hotels do not pretend that you are being invited into their home out of the generosity of their heart, and that the money is just an incidental fee to cover cleaning, or even just a nonessential “thank you” tribute to the hotel owner. More often than not, however, our clients want to pretend that it is not “just a job” for us; that there is actually an emotional and, dare I say, sexual connection; that we love doing this and would play with them even if there were no money exchanged. I am not necessarily saying any of those things are false, by the way. In a way I would argue that it is literally the job of the ProDomme to find and/or engineer a connection with each and every client, so perhaps in that sense we are obligated to surpass the “professional” boundaries that some other business owners might take refuge in. And if you don’t like your job, you should be seeking another career, whether you’re a ProDomme or a hotel owner. But because both Domme and sub go into some pretty extreme territory in session, wherein many boundaries which would otherwise be in place in a professional exchange are completely shattered, the few boundaries that remain are very, very important. I think this goes for sex workers as well. You already ask–and get–a great deal of our personal (read: above and beyond normal “professional”) energy and attention. At least that’s how I run my sessions. I give a lot, as do most of the top Dommes I know. So if you want anything more than that, please remember that–fantasy aside–we are professionals. Ask of us what you would ask of a personal trainer, a doctor, a psychologist, or a hotel concierge. And if you laugh at the comparison of domination to any of the above, I would say your misogyny has now become quite loud.