A few guidelines on some basics in MANNERS to which submissives should adhere. Manners are a topic that is germane to D/s, yet one that is frequently overlooked in session. Most of these are directly applicable to vanilla life as well.

1. Say please and thank you. Even Dom/mes use this rule when they deem it appropriate. Example, “May I please phone you tomorrow morning to confirm our session?”

2. Do not call a Dom/me more than twice in 24 hours if you have not heard back, especially if you have already sent her a text message and/or an email.

3. Don’t text someone if you have never met them before. It speaks overfamiliarity and arrogance.

4. Try not to stare at your Dom/me, it contradicts the power hierarchy of a D/s relationship. If you do like to look him or her in the eye it should subside once they have you deep into session-mode.

5. Do not rest your hands on your hips (cocky) or cross them on your chest (defensive).

6. Attempt to clean up any mess you make by the end of a session, including body fluids or accidents/breakages.

7. Shower. For God’s sake, just shower.

8. Brush your teeth. If you have no opportunity for it use gum or a mint. Yes your Dom/me will notice and yes he/she will resent you for it if you be stanky.

9. Do not ask personal questions. For instance: exact age, weight, height, relationship status, anything about family, career, real name, etc. It is none of your business, and Dom/mes have as much reason for privacy as you do. If a Dom/me chooses to tell you about their personal life it is a GIFT so do not demand more information in the interest of “making conversation.”

10. If you have any doubts about whether a question or statement is appropriate, ASK TO ASK. Example, “Mistress, may I ask you a question please? Feel free to ignore it of course….”

11. Do not touch yourself in session unless your Dom/me gives you permission. Also, casually fiddling with yourself while carrying on a conversation is pathetic (in a bad way).

12. Don’t gossip about other people to your Dom/me, unless the information is strictly factual and used for the urgent benefit of your Master or Mistress. It is a very small world and rumors spread VERY quickly.

13. Don’t show up drunk or on drugs. Less manners more common sense.

14. Avoid groping and/or touching your Dom/me without permission. You’d think this would be a no-brainer, but I am shocked at how many times I have to nail someone in the balls when they get too friendly.

15. Don’t call your Dom/me by a pet name. Sugar, honey, darling, babe, dear, sweetheart, toots, sexy, little girl, princess, foxy, hot stuff and pretty little thing are all bad.

16. DO call your Dom/me by a proper title. Mistress, Miss, Ma’am, Madame, My Queen, Your Majesty, Goddess, Empress, and Supreme Being are all good.

17. Don’t ask your Mistress out. Please.

18. Don’t show up early and don’t show up late. Even 5 minutes can make a difference as many Dom/mes are extremely busy. Value our time more than yours, it can only improve your D/s experience.

19. Keep your phone and email handy the day of a session in case your Dom/me needs to get ahold of you.

20. Don’t try to be funny with your Dom/me. They are generally more adept at conversation than you anyway, and you are not there to be funny. You are there to give over control. All you have to do is listen and obey….the rest is up to us