Man looking up

Below is an email from one of my favorite slaves. I am grateful for his gratitude, adore his adoration, and put tremendous thought into my sessions with him–because before and after each session he puts tremendous thought towards me. As a ProDomme, I can never love you. But I take your love for me, revel in it, churn it inside of me and wrap you back up inside it like a blanket. This is why it’s so important to give yourself fully and joyfully to your Domme, especially in a heavy D/s dynamic. A Domme is merely a movie projector in the cinema of your being: whatever small reel of yourself you decide to hand over, she will cast it ten times high on the walls. Give bitterness, and she shows you bitterness. Give impatience, and she shows you impatience. Give respect and worship, and she will raise your name up to the sky.

Submission is never perfect, but this comes pretty close.

I have one comment that I want to explain. “You use everything.” This is what I said, not very clearly, after my last session with you. I had something specific in mind. Before the session, when we were discussing possibilities for roleplay, I said that part of the interest of a revenge scenario is that it could incorporate reversals, but a reversal would be impossible for me, because I wouldn’t be able to interact with you as an equal. You not only incorporated this problem into the scene, you assigned it to me as a task, and made it central: my failure to approach you as an equal in the date scenario triggered the revenge scenario.

You did something similar the time before that. That time, I remember, I brought a lot of bad energy to the session. In addition to my usual nervousness, I was distracted by worries about false issues, and then I was terrified of some of the play with water. I also had a very full bladder; earlier, worried that I might get dehydrated, I had overcompensated by drinking a lot of water. Again you incorporated all of my problems into the session, forcing me to confess my inadequacies, pushing me to confront my fear of drowning until my fear response exhausted itself, and humiliating me by having me piss into a drain on the deck under the open sky. The water motif nicely tied together the entire afternoon.

Of course you also use whatever good energy I bring. My desire to submit. How I want to entertain you and not disappoint you.

You’re very perceptive of my capabilities and problems, and you seem to know how to use all of them. The feeling of your curiosity being directed toward me, your opening me up and absorbing and manipulating me, is powerful. I also appreciate your suggestions for ways I could improve, not just as a submissive but as a person. It is odd to come away from a session dedicated to humiliation with a sense that I need to get better at saying good things about myself. But really touching.

-slave A