Foot Femdom Goddess wm

As soon as we hit July, I could pretty much either be found barefoot or in flip flips 24/7. I find it so much more comfortable to walk around that way, and since I’m on a regular pedicure schedule it’s never a problem. Frankly, I love showing off my feet in public, and flaunt my toes in my flip flops on the subway and in restaurants on purpose!

I can always spot the foot boys when I’m out and about. They’re staring at my feet until I catch them, then bashfully look away or blush. I keep my gaze on them until they look back at me, just to let them know that I know. Silly boys. Sometimes if I’m out with my friends we all wear our sandals together, and that’s when we REALLY get some looks from the boys.

It doesn’t hurt that I also love shorts that are so sparse they’re practically panties. I’m basically all legs, feet and ass when I’m running errands. I just wear my headphones constantly because I don’t want to hear all the comments guys throw at me. I block out most of the perverts, with the exception of the sweet, cute ones who I see checking me out. I try to catch their eyes on purpose, usually giving them an encouraging little smile to let them know it’s okay to look.

One casualty of all my naked foot behavior is that they do get awfully, awfully dirty by the end of the day, and usually a bit sore. That’s when I call on my favorite slaves to come over and help me relax with a adoring, personalized bath and foot massage. I’m totally spoiled. And I don’t think you’d want it any other way.

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The stunning femme fatale Lydia Supremacy is going to be gracing New York with her powerful presence this weekend. Normally she is training slaves in Philadelphia, but during her trip she and I are offering doubles at my studio in Brooklyn on Friday and Saturday. Anyone who wants to truly suffer at the hands of the East Coasts’s finest, fittest, most hypnotic lifestyle Dommes needs to visit us. One on one, each of us can be a brutal sadist, but together we inevitably push you to the limits of your submission.

Her mesmerizing beauty helps you sink deep into your sub-space (it’s one of the main reasons I love being seen in public with her), and by the end of the session you’ll look back and marvel at how much she was able to push you. Meanwhile, I can gently coax you with delicious words and manipulations, helping you down the siren path until you feel you’ve lost yourself completely in our feminine spell.

Sound like fun? Please fill out my online booking form to inquire.

Femdom Alpha Confidence

I sat down to lunch recently with the brilliant blonde, Mistress Troy, and over the course of two hours and several of the finest light courses at The Standard, we covered just about everything I had been wanting to talk to her about. It’s always refreshing to spend time with another respected Femdom professional. There’s only a few colleagues I feel comfortable enough with to talk shop, trade stories, ask advice, and crack jokes (how many slaves does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one to do it and six more to redo it properly), and Mistress Troy is definitely one of them. Out of all the ProDommes in New York City Troy is one of the women who has been practicing the longest, and her reputation is top-drawer. I was reminded of why her clients love her when we met: she is kind, intelligent, well-spoken, confident, and very down to Earth.

At first glance, humility, kindness and authenticity might seem like weakness, but in fact they are quite the opposite. It takes supreme confidence to be authentic and not feel the need to “play the part” of a dominant female. The woman who can let her natural beauty and power simply radiate without forcing it out into her environment is far more magnetic than the woman who feels the need to “show it.” I’m acquainted with many of the more renowned Mistresses in the industry, and the ones who have the best reputations, generally speaking, also happen to be superb human beings. It takes a lot of energy to run a thriving business and maintain your health, appearance and wardrobe, and the Dommes who do all those things successfully usually don’t have time or inclination to disparage the competition.

Nor do they need to! Mistress Troy and I have quite a few things in common (I like to think), not least of which is the fact that we are both fielding a constant stream of session requests. I try not to interfere in the business or reputations of any of my Femdom colleagues because it’s important to support women in business, not to mention women in general. It’s also helpful that my area of expertise as a young psychological dominant and intelligent, lifestyle D/s practitioner minimizes my competition. Granted, my steady income goes a long way towards helping me feel confident, but at the same time I have built my steady income as a direct result of my confidence. It’s a chicken and egg dichotomy in some ways, but at any time we can choose to embrace our good qualities, take a deep breath, and put our kindest, most authentic foot forward.

Try it next time you’re in the company of greatness. I guarantee you’ll come off as more confident–not less.

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Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional or psychologist. 

 

Safety Precautions for Psychological Edge Play

Here are some of the basic building blocks towards creating an emotional edge play scene. These steps don’t really apply towards more advanced physical scenes like the ones I mentioned last week–waterboarding, knife play, gun play, live burial, etc.–but chances are if you’re contemplating those types of scenes you’re doing your research elsewhere (and so you should!). The following methods are better suited for the “intermediate-level” mind fucker, and I hope that you are compassionate enough to use them wisely. You can do real and lasting damage unless you use these tools to aid your sub in growth and self-discovery.

If you’re not using edge play as a tool for growth, but merely for the purposes of fantasy and sexy fun-time, it is your responsibility as the dominant to make your sub understand afterwards (and sometimes even reinforcing before) that it is fantasy; that any undermining of their confidence or humiliation tactics are done to create the erotic experience of disempowerment but do not reflect how you actually feel about them “in real life.”

Brainwashing Domination

Domination does not end when you finish a scene. The best dominants will see a sub through the entire experience, including any prolonged recovery period–that goes double for psychological domination. It can take weeks to calm someone down from an intense psychological edge play scene, so make sure you have the maturity, patience, and compassion to be able to be there for her in the aftermath. The negative risks (if you ignore these safety guidelines) are that you can significantly impair someone’s ability to function happily–sometimes permanently, depending on the depth of your relationship. The net positive is that you can accelerate someone’s growth in a few hours with lessons that might have taken years to learn otherwise.

Weapons like these have been wielded in abusive relationships since the dawn of time by both men and women, but in a consensually nonconsensual context they can become extraordinarily hot, even healthy, and yes, even loving.

Intimate BDSM

 

Step 1: Create Intimacy

This is the best way to elicit trust from your sub, which you can then take advantage of at a later stage. It’s best played as a long game, but you can also fast track it to create a sense of deep, personal bond in less than an hour. Drop your defenses when first engaging with the person and give the appearance of being nonthreatening, warm and seductive. Be the first to volunteer some piece of information about you that makes them believe they are the only person who knows this “secret.”

Example 1: “That girl standing at the bar makes me really uncomfortable (semi-true).” Example 2: “I’m sorry if I seem upset, I just got a call that my family dog died (lie).” When they offer you something about their own inner life, look them in the eyes and listen, and offer gentle, supportive feedback. Let them feel they are getting to know “the real you” while in reality you’re dispensing only specific, calculated details that don’t actually expose any of your vulnerability points or “real self” at all. You must make them think you are being vulnerable while not actually being vulnerable. In the process, they will open up to you and become vulnerable but not feel that they’re doing so.

cher upset

 

Step 2: Identify Weaknesses

Once you’ve started to establish trust, you can begin to mine her for her weaknesses. Let these weaknesses come up in conversation, and look for the nonverbal cues as well in the way she moves and carry herself. The real gold is in her turn-ons, turn-offs, phobias, points of shame, deep desires, humiliation triggers, and areas of ineptitude and uncertainty. Study her in a way that does not appear obvious, but don’t be afraid to hide your agenda within a ruse-agenda. For instance, you can ask about her weaknesses directly while engaging in a distracting activity and then quickly divert to another topic. Regardless of how you get the information, try to memorize what she has said; if you can’t memorize quickly, write it down. A sub’s weaknesses are the key to creating intense emotional experiences for her. Think of it as benevolent malevolence.

Jealousy Cucquean

 

Step 3: Establish Sexual Inadequacy

One of the best ways to keep a submissive in your power is to allow them to believe that you’re doing them a favor by giving them your attention. This is not something that you should necessarily say outright, as often times that comes across as bragging or insecurity and can, especially with women, be a turn-off. However, gently creating a set of circumstances that let your sub see that you are interested in other more attractive people, and that they are interested in you, will many times make the sub feel deeply inadequate.

Example: ask a friend whose number you haven’t saved to your phone to text you a series of incredibly hot photos of someone who looks like your sub but is roughly twice as attractive, then leave your phone open on the table while you go to the bathroom. When your sub questions you about it, you should insist that it is just a friend texting you photos out of the blue, and that you have no idea why she is sending you bikini shots. Delete them in front of the sub and offer a convincing amelioration. “See? Meaningless.” Believable statements like this are great, because you can deny with 100% accuracy, while the seeds of insecurity are firmly planted in your sub’s mind. Side note: I understand there is a lot of polyamory in the lifestyle scene, so this technique may be less effective for such players. 

Behavior Modification

 

Step 4: Gentle Behavior Modification 

Convincing your sub to augment small aspects of her behavior or appearance that she has made habitual can disrupt her mental stability in shocking ways. The bigger the ask, the less likely your sub is to adopt it, so start with small things: new underwear, makeup, cologne or perfume of your choosing, new shoes, a supervised haircut, etc. This can be a very long game, but it is effective. If you choose your asks wisely you can make a sub feel like she “belongs” to you even while you have made no request or designs on ownership. The woman’s identity will slowly start to slip away as she loses herself, article by article, habit by habit, while you appear to be only innocently making suggestions on his improvement. By stripping away the familiar, you leave her dependent on you and starting to wonder before each action she takes, “what would HE think?” Meanwhile, you make no changes to yourself, thus maintaining ownership over your own person and hers.

Gaslighting Manipulation Edgeplay

 

Step 5: Create Disorientation

This can be achieved in many ways, but the goal is to make the sub question her sanity, emotional reactions, and sense of reality. It’s usually more effective once you’ve gone through steps 1 and 2, but you can fast track it with forced intoxication, sleep deprivation, or starvation (all to be discussed consensually beforehand). If you know someone well, casual gaslighting is great. The better you know someone, the less they will expect it.

Gaslighting is best achieved over a stretch of weeks, and is very effective with feelings of jealousy, paranoia, and intelligence/memory. Example 1: “Did you see that girl checking me out? No? Nevermind. Wow, that was really over the top (lie).” Example 2: “I still can’t get over how you were masturbating so furiously in your sleep last night. You don’t remember? It woke me up! Jeez, you must have been really unconscious…(lie).” Example 3: “Hey Hun, are you ready for date night tonight? What? You forgot?! We talked about this over the weekend! I’m so disappointed (lie).” You can also gaslight “experimentally” (proceed with caution), wherein you test out your tactics live just to gauge how well they work, how effective you are, and how receptive your sub is, but it works best to know the exact state of disorientation you wish to achieve before you begin and then work backwards. For instance, jealousy gaslighting will look much different than intelligence gaslighting. The more you can think it through beforehand the better your scene will be when you begin.

Roleplay BDSM Edgeplay

 

Step 6: Involve Others

Once you imply that you have involved other people in your dynamic (even if the others don’t know they’re involved), you cross a threshold into “reality” that will trigger strong reactions in most subs whether they want to admit it or not. If you’ve laid adequate groundwork by creating intimacy, identifying weakness, establishing sexual inadequacy, gently modifying behavior, and creating disorientation, the land mines of doubt are planted and need only the light touch of someone other than the sub to explode. What’s fascinating is that this person does not need to be you: all it takes is the mere implication that friends, coworkers, or even passersby might be involved for the sub to quickly fill in the blanks in a way that is terrifying and exhilarating.

Example 1: If you’re trying to set up a cuckolding or cucquean dynamic, arrange to go to a restaurant or bar where you know one of the staff. Make sure your sub does not know you know them. Then have the staff member shamelessly flirt with you in front of your sub, possibly even beyond what is normally socially appropriate. Play it off as funny or a fluke. Example 2: Ask a vanilla friend who is kink-curious and good at keeping a straight face to proposition your sub sexually at a party. When your sub turns him down, instruct him to politely offer money for her services. When she becomes offended and storms off to find you, probe until she tells you what happened. Then feign anger that she did not take him up on his offer, and march her over to your friend to make the arrangements. Be sure to keep at least half the money for yourself. Whether or not you actually go through with the roleplay is up to you, but a lot of the juice is in that initial interaction.

Addicted BDSM

 

The Reason Why Submissives Like It

If your sub can come out of the experience feeling that they are ultimately safe, attended to and cherished, you can get away with terrible things. The more you mind fuck someone, the more dangerous it becomes, but I have relationships where mind fucking has happily been a significant component of our dynamic for years. Ultimately, all subs want to feel their dominant is both more powerful than they are, and taking on the responsibility of being that God (or Goddess) figure is a gift to them. Basking in the glow of someone’s omnipotence and omniscience creates feelings of safety, meaning, structure, well-being, and even love-esidual experiences from when we all were at our most helpless, as children at the feet of our parents. Psychological edge play simply creates a set of false conditions that regress your sub to a state of helplessness once more, hopefully facilitating profound self-discovery and intimacy between you both along the way.

 

Psychological Edge Play Done Well

Psychological edge play is some of the most fascinating BDSM out there, and it allows the dominant to be writer, director, actor and producer of some of the best theater in the world! You may never feel such a power high again. Just bear in mind that since this is where kink becomes art, your submissive is the subject, product, and audience all at once; cherish them and proceed with their best interests at heart every step of the way. If used properly, this is one of the single most effective BDSM tactics for changing someone’s life for the better.

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I was chatting with a cute 22-year-old slave the other day, and I happened to admit that I’m recently single (well, as of Valentine’s Day). He gawped, recovered, then mumbled something about a “mad, mad world.” Although I am indeed beleaguered day in and day out by adoring males due to my job, I explained to him that my personal tastes are actually quite “specific.” Meaning: unbearably high. As they should be for any intelligent, beautiful woman, in my esteemed opinion! But like everyone who has ever lived, there have been a few times in my life where the object of my affection has been, in fact, “just not that into me.”

Now, I would be lying if I said it didn’t bother me. Of course it bothers me. I think there’s at least 10 great reasons to date a ProDomme, and about 500 reasons to date me specifically. However, I know that my career brings with it a certain unique category of “issues” that any boyfriend is going to have to contend with. If a man is deeply confident, he won’t be threatened by the professional relationships with my clients, but how many deeply confident men do you know? Or deeply confident humans for that matter? They’re out there, definitely, but like a pair of Louboutins at half price they are rare indeed.

Cut to this morning, when I fire up my inbox to find an open letter from that same slave. He’s taken it upon himself to chastise the wayward Adonises of my lovelorn past! I found the letter so hilarious that I decided to post it here.

NB: I’m not ashamed of being single. It makes it that much easier to not pay for things.

 

To whom it may concern,

Throughout history man has shown many situations in which he has lacked good judgment and overall common sense. No group of individuals has confirmed this idea better then the group of sad fools that have, for whatever nonsensical reason, chosen not to exclusively date Mistress Darcy.  This is quite possibly the most ridiculous decision a human being could, or has ever made. I can not seem to comprehend how anyone could ever turn down an opportunity to be around this angel of a woman. Her body is perfect, and I cherish any opportunity to even catch a glimpse of it. At one time or another, each of you had been given the opportunity not only to spend a considerable amount of time with a stunningly beautiful goddess, but also to have sex with her!! If you fall into this group of morons, what exactly is it that has been clouding your judgment? Because it has to be something. It’s completely impossible that any heterosexual male in their right mind would turn down a chance to be with Mistress Darcy. The thought process and decision making of these men has left me utterly confused. The perfect female wants you and you’re not ready? What are you waiting for?  It doesn’t get better than perfect and it does not get better than her.

Sincerely,

An extremely perplexed admirer of Mistress Darcy

hitachi vibrator

 

Magic Wand: A Girl’s Best Friend

I received an email this morning from a female client who was over the moon after our last session together. It was a hot experience, and I certainly made a powerful impression on her judging by her flushed face when she left; long term, however, she preferred the company of my friend who I brought with me…

“You should know that you helped me out enormously by introducing me to my new Japanese boyfriend, Hitachi Magic Wand! I’d never been able to have an orgasm with another person before but it turns out that Hitachi was the missing element.”

For anyone who hasn’t tried masturbating with a Hitachi, I suggest dropping what you’re doing and buying one right now. I generally describe the experience as “ripping an orgasm out of you with a chainsaw.” Both men and women can enjoy this tool, and generally it’s equally effective on both sets of genitalia. I own one for use with my male partners, which I’ve had for about four years now. It has probably single-handedly (pun intended) saved me from Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.

Thanks to the internet, magic wands are now pretty much ubiquitous no matter where you live. They’re technically supposed to be used as therapeutic “massagers” for other parts of your body, which IS still true, even though they are most notoriously used as sex toys. You can even get them at Walmart! (How dirty.) There are dozens of knock-off designs available for next to nothing on Amazon, though if you get anything under $50 you risk the motor burning out after a few months of use. The design pictured above is the standard, though there are many other types on the market. If you take your orgasms as seriously as I do, you should definitely think about an upmarket model.

 

Other Vibrator Models

I myself have a Doxy for personal use, which is one of the more expensive wands but holds up very well over time. It even comes in a few different fun colors (mine is black, in case you’re wondering). The different speed settings are incredibly helpful and one of the key features that sets it apart from the various standard Hitachi models. I also love the sleek design, which is a bit less “hospital” feeling with all of the horsepower of the original Hitachi. I believe they have made cordless versions in the past, though I think you might have to order from the UK to find one.

doxy-massager-black

I’ve heard mixed reviews about the waterproof cordless Lelo, though in general their products are some of the prettiest and sleekest on the market. My own Lelo is small and has a gorgeous design (smaller hand unit, not a wand), but I’m afraid doesn’t have quite the motor power that I need to have a truly mind-blowing experience. One of the bigger models (pictured below) will definitely have a stronger vibration to it than the small units, but the issue with cordless wands is always that you have to recharge them and risk a weaker vibration than models which plug into the wall. The upshot is, of course, that it’s waterproof, which makes it worth getting if you love playtime in the bath, shower or pool.

Lelo Cordless Vibrator

There are also lots of smaller versions of the classic wand out there, such as the Wanachi, though I personally find the motor speed is not strong enough to merit buying one. I would rather either use a smaller, classic insertable vibrator or a larger, highly capable exterior wand, and not waste my money on a middle-of the road purchase that satisfies neither requirement. I do know some people who like their the smaller models though, so if you’re still struggling to decide I would advise going in-store to somewhere like Babeland to sample the various speeds before you invest.

Wanachi mini wand

 

Attachments and Accessories

Whichever wand you decide to get, make sure you try at least one attachment. There are quite a few available now, both for men and women, and they are usually pretty affordable. Most of the insertables can be used both vaginally and anally, with the exception of the double-penetration caps which are meant for women only (see second image below). There are also lots of cock sheaths you can get which are useful if you want a unique, robotic-handjob type experience or simply if you lose patience with your male partner’s procrastinating member. If you decide you don’t like the attachment you’ve purchased after using it, please do us all a favor and don’t return it. Vibrators may help you unleash your impulses, but there is still some basic etiquette required!

Hitachi Vibrator Sex Toy Female Vibrator Sextoy Dick Attachment Vibrator Femdom

 

Hygiene: Soap and Water

Please clean your vibrators after every use, if possible. In addition to helping maintain the pleasant smell, taste and appearance of your toy, it’s also just a good habit to get into for sanitation. You can definitely catch STD’s from swapping it between yourself and your partner during sex, so bear that in mind and proceed with caution! If you’re too lazy to wash your toy with soap and water between uses, just wrap it in a condom and gently dry off any condom-lube on the outside after you’re done. I usually double-bag my Hitachi when I use it on a male, as sometimes the first condom will break with vigorous use. The ridges on the original model can be hard to fully clean, even with disinfectant wipes, so condoms are extra handy for cutting down on cleaning time.

 

Vibrator Shame: Get Over It!

If you still feel ashamed of buying such an audacious cum-tool, you should know that these things have been around for decades. There’s even a rather darling scene about a Hitachi at the end of Exit to Eden, that hilarious mid-90’s romantic comedy about a kinky sex island. Rosie O’Donnell’s character pulls one out of Dan Aykroyd’s bag, and he bashfully admits to having purchased it in order to resurrect his failed marriage. If a middle-aged, sexuallyepressed, vanilla doofus like him can buy one, so can you!