I recently had to grapple with a very entitled male about my deposit process. He attempted to make a weak argument against them. Out of boredom and the desire to write a new blog post, I destroyed his logic on every point. Here is his argument, and my rebuttal, which outlines the many reasons why you should just shut up and pay if you’re serious about seeing a professional dominant:
Man: Deposits aren’t classy.
Me: I am clearly and irrevocably classy, and if you don’t think so then why would you contact me? The vast quantity of photos of me, reviews about me, and text written by me are a testament to my elegance and professionalism, and if you don’t agree then you should not even consider sessioning with me. Save your money for someone “actually” classy, like the Duchess of Cambridge. Though apparently she’s got some pretty filthy friends.
Man: I don’t trust anyone until I get to know them.
Me: That sounds like a very lonely life. Regardless, the chances of you actually “getting to know” the personal side of any ProDomme above and beyond the character traits she chooses to show you are rare. If you mean knowing them enough to trust that they will not steal your money, that can be assessed by looking at a woman’s reputation online. Why would I have so many clients raving about me if I’m in the habit of stealing their money, of if I was anything other than, generally speaking, very good at my job?
Man: The internet is full of liars and con artists.
Me: Correct. Just today I had someone who seemed sincere and “promised” he was the kind of guy who didn’t need to give a deposit flake for the second time, last minute, and not show up. I am then out of pocket for the dungeon rental, my time has been wasted, and I have turned down other income for the day, which in my industry means a net profit loss. Most luxury services demand a deposit upfront anyway, and professional domination is the definition of a luxury service.
Man: I’m concerned about the lack of privacy with an electronic trail.
Me: Which is why I welcome deposits in cash a day or so before the session.
Man: A deposit of $100 seems high.
Me: If you’re about to spend $300-$1000 total, it’s nothing. But thank you for outing yourself as a timewaster.
Man: I can give you various personal details in order to verify that I am who I am.
Me: That has no bearing on whether you show up to an appointment. I don’t want to blackmail you: I want to be paid for my time.
Man: The odds are pretty slim that I’m a liar.
Me: False. What percentage of welleviewed Dommes with their own websites, twitter following, fetlife profile and global fan base do you think “lie” about their deposits and steal them from their would-be clients? I would guess 1/20, if I were to be very cynical about it, because bad behavior is so easy to report for public figures like us. The percentage of would-be clients who don’t follow through with an inquiry or “lie” about not needing to make a deposit and then bail on their session is about 7/10, in my experience. Unless of course they provide a deposit, and then the no-show rate goes down to 1/10.
In conclusion, the onus is on the client to prove his trustworthiness. I have already proven mine. But you’re always welcome to take a gamble on someone without any sort of track record. That’s what the internet is for! Just ask Michael Phelps, who should have done his research.