If you are attempting to get the attention of an attractive female in an internet setting, a few tips.

  1. Do not use one letter words or acronyms, e.g. wyd, hbu, r u free, etc.
  2. Do not send an unsolicited dick pic unless your penis is at least eight inches and porn-worthy.
  3. Do not barrage her with more than a one to one response, or on multiple platforms, unless at least three months have elapsed. Most women read all of their messages: we are most likely just not interested.
  4. Complimenting a woman’s sex appeal or body parts is basic; if you compliment some facet of her personality or hidden beauty you are far more likely to get her attention.
  5. Display your intelligence.
  6. Display your humor.
  7. Display good manners and etiquette.
  8. Don’t make it about YOUR sexual needs or kinks.
  9. Assume she is getting 50 messages a day just like yours and then think of what YOU would want to read if you were getting asked out 50 times a day.
  10. Give freely of your intelligence, humor and manners and expect nothing back. Be generous and try to brighten her day. Those are the messages I respond to. Especially if you look like a male model.
  11. Look like a male model.
  12. If Number 11 is simply not possible in this lifetime, be realistic and focus on increasing your intelligence, humor and manners.

office girl

Ever wondered if someone in your workplace is secretly kinky? Do they make obvious power grabs or shirk responsibilities without even realizing it? Here are some questions to start you thinking about the real world psychological applications of D/s. Dominance and submission are fascinating because they are calling into the open the fundamental need for power and powerlessness that all human beings feel. In my experience, every single human wants to be in control, be controlled, or both. The only perverse thing is someone who denies this most basic human condition.

Answer the following about your boss/coworker/employee:

When they look at you do they hold eye contact, or do their eyes dart away after a few seconds?

  • Eye contact is one of the best forms of ascertaining dominance or submission. If they hold your gaze, likely Dom/me. If they look away, likely sub.

When given a directive, for example “Hi Jennifer, please sit down,” do they oblige immediately? Or do they hesitate for a second before complying?

  • Most Dom/me’s will take a moment to hear the directive, process it, then decide if they want to choose to follow it or not. A sub will usually follow the order without processing first.
Office Femsub

With lunch or supply orders, do they always know what to order, or do they ever ask a coworker to decide?

  • Often times a sub in a position of power will seek to be relieved of their power in small ways. Asking an equal or supervisor (but not someone of lower status) to order for you can work as a release valve, and also reveal a deeper need for structure imposed by someone outside yourself. Many Dom/mes, however, would not allow someone to decide for them, instead preferring to choose for themselves.

Do they seem relieved when given structure or deadlines? Or do they work best on their own timeline with no pressure?

  • Many Dom/mes resent structure handed down from above, whereas subs crave it. A deadline helps give a sub the guidelines necessary to complete a project, sometimes literally organizing their thoughts for them.

Do they work well next to a supervisor, with a support team in front of them, or both?

  • A submissive will usually feel comfort under the direction of a supervisor, whereas a Dom/me will usually chafe at the authority. Conversely, a submissive can resent the responsibility of a team, whereas many Dom/mes thrive with a group of people to whom they can delegate “lesser” tasks.

Any insights? Did you try answering the questions about yourself? Where do you fall on the spectrum of power-desire? 

In truth, the vast majority of vanillas have latent, un-integrated desires that accidentally creep out on the job. If you can figure out whether your coworkers and supervisors lean more towards dominance or submission, you’re on your way to earning their favor—and maybe even their job.


My favorite little girl, Sub Lily, is back in town soon and we are offering up one hell of a double session. She subs to me, maybe you, or side by side with you, and I get to have my wicked way with the both of you. Lily loves spanking, bondage, humiliation, and D/s of all kinds, which is why we get along so well. That and she is, quite literally, only just legally able to participate in this sort of thing. Don’t worry, I didn’t corrupt her. She was already corrupted when we met!


If you’re interested in seeing me or her, please fill out my online booking form asap. I’m not taking bookings until July 22, but I will be pretty slammed after that. Be sure and inquire in advance! She and I have incredible chemistry together, and frankly my sessions with her have been some of my favorite all year. Just note that she, and I for that matter, do not allow sexual services other than the standard BDSM offerings in professional domination sessions. Bring your most (devious) gentlemanly attitude and I’m sure we will have an unforgettable time.




In my eight years as a Dominatrix, I’ve learned more about sex and power than most people learn in a lifetime. If only I’d had these golden insights back when I was in hell corporate, I’d be running that entire global office by now. Instead I’m the CEO of my own small business with a dozen dedicated personal slaves employees working for me all over the world, and an address book of hundreds of actual CEO’s clients groveling at my feet. I admit, it’s a weird life, but there’s universal wisdom in domination—profound lessons in business and human nature that are the daily fare of Fortune 500’s, Drill Sergeants, psychotherapists and sex workers. Every good ProDomme is a little of each. You might have no interest in BDSM in the bedroom, but you’ll find it invaluable in the boardroom.

Just remember: knowledge is power.



While job performance is important, we’re humans—not machines—so your ability to interact socially is one of the most important factors in whether you’re hired or fired (off the record, of course, but all you executives know what I’m talking about). If you have enough of the right kind of social intelligence, you can over time and without fail climb the corporate ladder. A crucial part of that intelligence is understanding what your coworkers desire. Figure that out and you’ll know how to manipulate them to your advantage.

Before you bristle at the word manipulate, we all manipulate each other whether we admit it or not. Manipulation is simply influence with a desire behind it. You have latent desire within you at all times, just as you influence your environment at all times by your very presence. Once you can understand, and subsequently control, your desires and influence, you’ll see your life change overnight. If you don’t understand your desires and influence, however, you’re dangerous to yourself and others. I spent years at various office jobs more or less shooting in the dark, not understanding what I really wanted or how I was coming across. Then I became a ProDomme, grew into my power, and am now forever changed. I’ve seen the real Matrix; humans are just a series of binary to me, strings of power-hungry and power-averse that are programmed to act and speak with frightening predictability. Do you want the red pill? It’s simple.

All desires in between survival needs and spiritual enlightenment have to do with power. Humans are machine-like in that one sense, and our ego decides whether we will benefit from either more or less power at any one time. BDSM provides a very useful template for understanding our relationship with power, in that sexual dominants enjoy having power, while sexual submissives enjoy being disempowered. Just to be clear, a person’s Dominant or submissive orientation does not necessarily equal dominance or submission in real life, but it can. Fortunately, with a few quick tests borrowed from my daily practice, you can ascertain how a person wishes to be dealt with in the workplace and whether you should be either kowtowing to their demands or taking more initiative with them. Once you know their desires, you know how to influence them. Promotion imminent.

Vogue gloves

Dress for success! Photo by Vogue.