In my eight years as a Dominatrix, I’ve learned more about sex and power than most people learn in a lifetime. If only I’d had these golden insights back when I was in hell corporate, I’d be running that entire global office by now. Instead I’m the CEO of my own small business with a dozen dedicated personal slaves employees working for me all over the world, and an address book of hundreds of actual CEO’s clients groveling at my feet. I admit, it’s a weird life, but there’s universal wisdom in domination—profound lessons in business and human nature that are the daily fare of Fortune 500’s, Drill Sergeants, psychotherapists and sex workers. Every good ProDomme is a little of each. You might have no interest in BDSM in the bedroom, but you’ll find it invaluable in the boardroom.
Just remember: knowledge is power.
HOW TO SPOT A DOMINANT OR SUBMISSIVE IN THE WORKPLACE
While job performance is important, we’re humans—not machines—so your ability to interact socially is one of the most important factors in whether you’re hired or fired (off the record, of course, but all you executives know what I’m talking about). If you have enough of the right kind of social intelligence, you can over time and without fail climb the corporate ladder. A crucial part of that intelligence is understanding what your coworkers desire. Figure that out and you’ll know how to manipulate them to your advantage.
Before you bristle at the word manipulate, we all manipulate each other whether we admit it or not. Manipulation is simply influence with a desire behind it. You have latent desire within you at all times, just as you influence your environment at all times by your very presence. Once you can understand, and subsequently control, your desires and influence, you’ll see your life change overnight. If you don’t understand your desires and influence, however, you’re dangerous to yourself and others. I spent years at various office jobs more or less shooting in the dark, not understanding what I really wanted or how I was coming across. Then I became a ProDomme, grew into my power, and am now forever changed. I’ve seen the real Matrix; humans are just a series of binary to me, strings of power-hungry and power-averse that are programmed to act and speak with frightening predictability. Do you want the red pill? It’s simple.
All desires in between survival needs and spiritual enlightenment have to do with power. Humans are machine-like in that one sense, and our ego decides whether we will benefit from either more or less power at any one time. BDSM provides a very useful template for understanding our relationship with power, in that sexual dominants enjoy having power, while sexual submissives enjoy being disempowered. Just to be clear, a person’s Dominant or submissive orientation does not necessarily equal dominance or submission in real life, but it can. Fortunately, with a few quick tests borrowed from my daily practice, you can ascertain how a person wishes to be dealt with in the workplace and whether you should be either kowtowing to their demands or taking more initiative with them. Once you know their desires, you know how to influence them. Promotion imminent.
Dress for success! Photo by Vogue.