Photo by A. Blair

Finally! I’m getting back to my home away from home. London, I will be all up inside you from October 25-30! I’ll be staying in Central but will only be conducting sessions at a dungeon in Bloomsbury. Should you like to see me, I recommend getting on my radar ASAP. I am already taking booking requests a whole month in advance. Please fill out my booking form to begin the process: www.mistressdarcy.com/booking

On the agenda this trip are some old fashioned CP sessions; stern, over the knee spankings; advanced roleplay the likes of which you’ve never seen and will never see again; deep, existential D/s; submissive male mind control for the seasoned slave; beginner slave introduction to BDSM (student discount!); and leather, leather, shoes, shoes, and latex latex.

Do something kind for yourself. You’ve earned it.

Seeking genius IT slave to assist with maintenance of my website and online security. The following are required for the position:

  • Firm understanding of WordPress, as that is what my site has been created in
  • Firm understanding of HTML
  • Ability to clean up code of site without breaking it
  • Understanding of javascript and CSS
  • Familiarity with basic online security and privacy practices and maintaining security of our server

In addition, although ability to do the work is paramount, a certain compatibility of personality is also required. You must be trustworthy, discreet, loyal, kind, patient, dutiful, and low ego. This is an opportunity to work closely with myself and a terrific team. We function in a way as our own kinky little family, and the core team looks out for each other in many ways.

I would prefer to bring someone on for a minimum of a one-year commitment. I understand life circumstances change, but it is not really efficient for me to onboard someone for a shorter time commitment than that.

Please apply here.

Photo Matt Christie

I believe everyone, somehow, in some way, is kinky. Finally science is catching up to prove it. Because of this, kink is a misnomer. It denotes a deviation from the norm, and the sexual norm is no more than a statistical average. Furthermore, “the norm” is not as normal as many of us would once have believed. Even factoring in hesitancy to disclose, this study indicates that more than 20% of people polled admitted to practicing kink in the form of bondage, spanking, or roleplay.

While there is a bell curve of sexual interests within human society—some generally agreed-upon activities that are the most usual amongst humans and comprise the bulk of sexual thoughts—everything outside of that average was created in the human brain organically. No one “placed” kinky desires in us, nor did the vast majority of us kinksters attempt to indoctrinate ourselves with unusual sexual interests. As long as you believe in science over sin, there is a perfectly scientific process for the development of kink that relates to brain chemistry.

Whomever first experiences a “kink” or “fetish” had a neural bridge built in their brain to connect an idea, object, body part, experience, sensory stimulus or experience, to his or her organic sexual response. These neural bridges can be built quickly and efficiently; it is as easy as placing a velcro jacket on a rat during its first sexual experience to create a lifelong velcro jacket fetish.

In my own personal experience, and from what I have seen after 10 years of being a dominatrix, human beings function in much the same way. Our first sexual explorations are often inextricably linked to the circumstances surrounding them as we grow into adulthood. The socks our babysitter wore when we had our first moment of arousal can lead to a lifetime sock fetish. The feeling of being deeply loved and cared for during toddler toilet training can later develop into the longing for an erotic bond through toilet servitude. Members of the clergy can come to eroticize…well….anything.

There are as many ways to understand and express kink as there are human beings on the planet. What’s more, it’s a completely organic process that has, initially, nothing to do with our will or control. Kink and sexual desires are about about as God-given as it gets. Whether we indulge in them it is a different story, however. Not all kinks are meant to be explored, particularly the non-consensual ones. Indulging fetishes usually intensifies them, so after a certain point we need to take responsibility for kinks that are unhealthy and stop feeding the brain chemistry around them.

At the very least, however, I believe there is no such thing as deviant sexuality. If sexual desire can literally take any form depending on circumstance, then initial kink has nothing to do with will power and everything to do with luck. Sexual desire is as vast and byzantine as the 7.5 billion people on this planet, and with science showing it is proven possible to eroticize anything, even psychotherapy itself, it is becoming more and more evident that there is no deviance: only sexuality, and the manifold ways it can express itself. Thankfully, I haven’t developed an attraction to velcro jackets yet. Or nuns. But there’s always tomorrow…

I prefer this to a handshake. Photo Stephen Perry

I’m coming back to Boston, girls and boys. Gather your pennies – this is one kink event you don’t want to miss!

After an entire summer away from the East Coast, I’m ready to raise some hell. I’ll be in the mood for extreme corporal: vicious whipping, relentless paddling, brutal caning. If you can’t handle physical pain then I’ll target your mind. Have you read my blog entry on Rejection Roleplay? It’s an instant classic. I LOVE the art of the mindfuck, and I can’t wait to gleefully launch myself into your deepest longings and fears like a bouncy castle at a birthday party.

All you toilets take note – there is forced training coming your way. If you’re ready to take your servitude to the next level, this is your chance.

My sessions will be either at my hotel in Back Bay, or at a friend’s dungeon. Please specify which you require when you fill out my booking form. I will be totally booked by the time I arrive, so ensure that you make your booking inquiry early this time.

 

Photo HelenTOG

Hey slaves! Great news. I’m back in New York for the fall starting September 5. Looking forward to reconnecting with all of you who have missed me so much since I’ve been away.

I’ll be back in my private studio doing sessions with a special emphasis on intense, extreme activities (e.g. forced toilet training, edge play, psychological takeover, no safeword singletail) and group scenes. If you are ready for a truly extraordinary experience of submission, contact me at my booking form.

For all you newbies…don’t worry. We can go light the first few sessions. I guarantee you’ll be begging to do more than you ever imagined possible by the third time we meet.

Photo HelenTOG

I will be in NYC for a limited time this summer, with an emphasis on cuckolding, forced bi, mindfucking, roleplay, humiliation, psychological control and edge play.

Book now. Do something for yourself this summer. The gift of surrender is priceless.

Photo by 2G Photography.

My good friend Empress Avery and I are teaming up for double sessions this summer. If you think you can bear our beauty side by side, and your tolerance for physical or emotional pain is high, then by all means book a session.

You can learn more about her at Empress Avery’s Website. She is a master at roleplay, emotional sadism, sensual domination, foot and body worship, and mind control. We have a lot in common!

I’ll be in NY July 1-13, LA July 14-August 14, NY Aug 15-18, and LA August 19-31. Try to catch us on one of those trips!

Photo: Ian Reid. Goddesses: Mistress Darcy and Goddess Aviva. Slaves: random white dude and Bob Revolver.

Super Beginner BDSM

If you’re sick of boring dates that end in normal sex and are ready to jettison your dating life into warp speed, take a few hours to spruce up your photo collection and read the below. You’ll be kink-functional in no time. If you’re still vanilla-leaning and want to take it slow, just hint that you’re kink-curious on OKC, Tinder or Bumble (which is great for females who like to swipe but hate being inundated with idiotic messages). If you’re ready for the deep end, then sign up for some of the kinky dating and social networking sites out there like Fetlife and Whiplr.

Take note: there are a few terms you should know before you banter. There’s no shame in being a newbie. (It’s kind of hot, actually.) But these kinky phrases will fast-track your flirting and make sure you don’t look like a vanilla dork.

Just remember the golden rule of consent. If it’s not consensual, it’s not cool! Know the difference, educate yourself, and don’t break your playthings. Above and beyond that, pretty much anything goes. There are too many online dating sites available now for anyone to feel their sexual interests are singular. You name it, someone else is into it. Best of luck to you, and if you want to explore further after reading this article check out my advice for Finding Your BDSM Soulmate.

BDSM – The most politically correct and comprehensive term for kink. B stands for bondage, D stands for discipline, and SM stands for sadism and masochism. There’s an additional acronym within the term: DS means Dominance and submission. BDSM doesn’t have to involve sex or sex acts, though it’s usually erotic in some capacity.

Consent – The permission to receive or administer some form of BDSM activity, be it physical or nonphysical. Consent just means permission. It can be accomplished with something as simple as, “is it okay if I touch you/spank you/hug you/take off your undies?” Let the person give you a verbal “yes” to be 100% safe.

Scene – An erotic BDSM exchange of some sort. It can happen in private or public, with two people or dozens, and does not need to include sex. Scenes can vary greatly in intensity and are the kink equivalent of a hook-up.

Dominant – A person in power in a BDSM context. Also called a Dom or Domme. There’s a necessary psychological control or power hierarchy involved in Domming that extends past physical activities. Sometimes used interchangeably with topping.

Submissive – A person who gives up power in a BDSM context. Also called a sub or slave. Subbing is the flip side of Domming, and there’s a necessary psychological surrender involved. Sometimes used interchangeably with bottoming.

Switch – Someone who likes to both dominate and be dominated. It literally means being able to “switch” between the two roles. You can switch with the same partner, or be a Dom/me with one person and a sub with another. Preferences can depend entirely on whom you’re with and what you’re doing.

Top – A person who enjoys the physical aspects of giving BDSM without engaging in a great deal of psychological control. You can top someone while still viewing them as an “equal” when you’re topping them. Often related to sensual, service domination, or physical sadism without the psychological control.

Bottom – A person who enjoys the physical aspects of receiving BDSM without giving over to the psychological surrender of submission. You can bottom without viewing your top as “superior,” for instance, or be solely a masochist with no psychological surrender.

Bondage – The restraint of your partner’s body in an erotic or aesthetic context. Rope, chains, tape, and leather or latex accessories are common, though any object used in a restrictive manner is technically bondage.

Discipline – The act of controlling a submissive’s behavior with rules imposed by the Dom/me and subsequent rewards and punishments when those rules are obeyed or disobeyed. It can also be a catchall term for impact play, including spanking and corporal punishment. Discipline can refer to either a psychological or physical practice of disciplining someone, or both in one.

Sadism – Deriving stimulation from giving someone physical pain. People who enjoy inflicting emotional wounds or engaging in psychological edge play are sometimes called emotional sadists. (Yes it’s a thing, and when done properly can be very hot.) Most sadists identify as dominant in some capacity.

Masochism – Receiving stimulation from feeling physical pain in an erotic context. Masochists don’t necessarily identify as subs or bottoms—some dominants are masochists as well: it can be a purely physical pleasure.

D/s – Dominance and submission, capitalization for effect. This is a kind of relationship dynamic based on a mutual agreement of power exchange. The act of submitting to another mandates a consensual participation in a hierarchy of power with (temporary) inequality at its core, for the sake of the experience. The greater the difference in power, the “greater the high” for both partners. D/s can involve physical activities, but can also be completely psychological with no physical contact.

Limit/Hard Limit – Anything you or your partner absolutely does not want to do, or an activity that, for whatever reason, you “can’t handle.” By and large, hard limits should be honored 100% and never violated. No explanations need to be given for why something is a limit: It is simply taken as fact. Dom/mes can have hard limits as well as subs.

Safeword – A word (sometimes substituted for a gesture or sound) that indicates a submissive has reached his or her limit. Dominants can safeword as well, though it is much more common for a submissive to require a safeword as they are usually on the receiving end of the activity.

Aftercare – The period after a scene in which both parties recover from the activities in the scene. Typically a submissive will need more aftercare, but a dominant can and should receive attention as needed. Aftercare can last anywhere from a few moments up to a few months, depending on the intensity of the scene.

Unicorn – Any rare combination of erotic circumstances/traits. Traditionally an unattached, attractive female sought out by a kinky couple looking for a third partner. Everyone has their own version of a unicorn based on their interests.

Slaves: I am finally returning to Florida! Serve me at my hotel while I’m catching up with friends at Fetish Factory in Ft. Lauderdale, and then join me at one of the dungeon parties afterwards. It’s looking to be an extremely fun, sadistic weekend for me and my fellow Dom/mes.

In my suitcase I will have wicked tools for CBT, electric torture, feminization, sissy training, bondage, humiliation of all kinds, and my usual wardrobe choices of latex, leather and lingerie.

Book now to get on my calendar. I’m already very much in demand for this trip! www.mistressdarcy.com/booking