Photo Matt Christie

I believe everyone, somehow, in some way, is kinky. Finally science is catching up to prove it. Because of this, kink is a misnomer. It denotes a deviation from the norm, and the sexual norm is no more than a statistical average. Furthermore, “the norm” is not as normal as many of us would once have believed. Even factoring in hesitancy to disclose, this study indicates that more than 20% of people polled admitted to practicing kink in the form of bondage, spanking, or roleplay.

While there is a bell curve of sexual interests within human society—some generally agreed-upon activities that are the most usual amongst humans and comprise the bulk of sexual thoughts—everything outside of that average was created in the human brain organically. No one “placed” kinky desires in us, nor did the vast majority of us kinksters attempt to indoctrinate ourselves with unusual sexual interests. As long as you believe in science over sin, there is a perfectly scientific process for the development of kink that relates to brain chemistry.

Whomever first experiences a “kink” or “fetish” had a neural bridge built in their brain to connect an idea, object, body part, experience, sensory stimulus or experience, to his or her organic sexual response. These neural bridges can be built quickly and efficiently; it is as easy as placing a velcro jacket on a rat during its first sexual experience to create a lifelong velcro jacket fetish.

In my own personal experience, and from what I have seen after 10 years of being a dominatrix, human beings function in much the same way. Our first sexual explorations are often inextricably linked to the circumstances surrounding them as we grow into adulthood. The socks our babysitter wore when we had our first moment of arousal can lead to a lifetime sock fetish. The feeling of being deeply loved and cared for during toddler toilet training can later develop into the longing for an erotic bond through toilet servitude. Members of the clergy can come to eroticize…well….anything.

There are as many ways to understand and express kink as there are human beings on the planet. What’s more, it’s a completely organic process that has, initially, nothing to do with our will or control. Kink and sexual desires are about about as God-given as it gets. Whether we indulge in them it is a different story, however. Not all kinks are meant to be explored, particularly the non-consensual ones. Indulging fetishes usually intensifies them, so after a certain point we need to take responsibility for kinks that are unhealthy and stop feeding the brain chemistry around them.

At the very least, however, I believe there is no such thing as deviant sexuality. If sexual desire can literally take any form depending on circumstance, then initial kink has nothing to do with will power and everything to do with luck. Sexual desire is as vast and byzantine as the 7.5 billion people on this planet, and with science showing it is proven possible to eroticize anything, even psychotherapy itself, it is becoming more and more evident that there is no deviance: only sexuality, and the manifold ways it can express itself. Thankfully, I haven’t developed an attraction to velcro jackets yet. Or nuns. But there’s always tomorrow…

Foot Femdom Goddess wm

As soon as we hit July, I could pretty much either be found barefoot or in flip flips 24/7. I find it so much more comfortable to walk around that way, and since I’m on a regular pedicure schedule it’s never a problem. Frankly, I love showing off my feet in public, and flaunt my toes in my flip flops on the subway and in restaurants on purpose!

I can always spot the foot boys when I’m out and about. They’re staring at my feet until I catch them, then bashfully look away or blush. I keep my gaze on them until they look back at me, just to let them know that I know. Silly boys. Sometimes if I’m out with my friends we all wear our sandals together, and that’s when we REALLY get some looks from the boys.

It doesn’t hurt that I also love shorts that are so sparse they’re practically panties. I’m basically all legs, feet and ass when I’m running errands. I just wear my headphones constantly because I don’t want to hear all the comments guys throw at me. I block out most of the perverts, with the exception of the sweet, cute ones who I see checking me out. I try to catch their eyes on purpose, usually giving them an encouraging little smile to let them know it’s okay to look.

One casualty of all my naked foot behavior is that they do get awfully, awfully dirty by the end of the day, and usually a bit sore. That’s when I call on my favorite slaves to come over and help me relax with a adoring, personalized bath and foot massage. I’m totally spoiled. And I don’t think you’d want it any other way.

image

I was chatting with a cute 22-year-old slave the other day, and I happened to admit that I’m recently single (well, as of Valentine’s Day). He gawped, recovered, then mumbled something about a “mad, mad world.” Although I am indeed beleaguered day in and day out by adoring males due to my job, I explained to him that my personal tastes are actually quite “specific.” Meaning: unbearably high. As they should be for any intelligent, beautiful woman, in my esteemed opinion! But like everyone who has ever lived, there have been a few times in my life where the object of my affection has been, in fact, “just not that into me.”

Now, I would be lying if I said it didn’t bother me. Of course it bothers me. I think there’s at least 10 great reasons to date a ProDomme, and about 500 reasons to date me specifically. However, I know that my career brings with it a certain unique category of “issues” that any boyfriend is going to have to contend with. If a man is deeply confident, he won’t be threatened by the professional relationships with my clients, but how many deeply confident men do you know? Or deeply confident humans for that matter? They’re out there, definitely, but like a pair of Louboutins at half price they are rare indeed.

Cut to this morning, when I fire up my inbox to find an open letter from that same slave. He’s taken it upon himself to chastise the wayward Adonises of my lovelorn past! I found the letter so hilarious that I decided to post it here.

NB: I’m not ashamed of being single. It makes it that much easier to not pay for things.

 

To whom it may concern,

Throughout history man has shown many situations in which he has lacked good judgment and overall common sense. No group of individuals has confirmed this idea better then the group of sad fools that have, for whatever nonsensical reason, chosen not to exclusively date Mistress Darcy.  This is quite possibly the most ridiculous decision a human being could, or has ever made. I can not seem to comprehend how anyone could ever turn down an opportunity to be around this angel of a woman. Her body is perfect, and I cherish any opportunity to even catch a glimpse of it. At one time or another, each of you had been given the opportunity not only to spend a considerable amount of time with a stunningly beautiful goddess, but also to have sex with her!! If you fall into this group of morons, what exactly is it that has been clouding your judgment? Because it has to be something. It’s completely impossible that any heterosexual male in their right mind would turn down a chance to be with Mistress Darcy. The thought process and decision making of these men has left me utterly confused. The perfect female wants you and you’re not ready? What are you waiting for?  It doesn’t get better than perfect and it does not get better than her.

Sincerely,

An extremely perplexed admirer of Mistress Darcy

hitachi vibrator

 

Magic Wand: A Girl’s Best Friend

I received an email this morning from a female client who was over the moon after our last session together. It was a hot experience, and I certainly made a powerful impression on her judging by her flushed face when she left; long term, however, she preferred the company of my friend who I brought with me…

“You should know that you helped me out enormously by introducing me to my new Japanese boyfriend, Hitachi Magic Wand! I’d never been able to have an orgasm with another person before but it turns out that Hitachi was the missing element.”

For anyone who hasn’t tried masturbating with a Hitachi, I suggest dropping what you’re doing and buying one right now. I generally describe the experience as “ripping an orgasm out of you with a chainsaw.” Both men and women can enjoy this tool, and generally it’s equally effective on both sets of genitalia. I own one for use with my male partners, which I’ve had for about four years now. It has probably single-handedly (pun intended) saved me from Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.

Thanks to the internet, magic wands are now pretty much ubiquitous no matter where you live. They’re technically supposed to be used as therapeutic “massagers” for other parts of your body, which IS still true, even though they are most notoriously used as sex toys. You can even get them at Walmart! (How dirty.) There are dozens of knock-off designs available for next to nothing on Amazon, though if you get anything under $50 you risk the motor burning out after a few months of use. The design pictured above is the standard, though there are many other types on the market. If you take your orgasms as seriously as I do, you should definitely think about an upmarket model.

 

Other Vibrator Models

I myself have a Doxy for personal use, which is one of the more expensive wands but holds up very well over time. It even comes in a few different fun colors (mine is black, in case you’re wondering). The different speed settings are incredibly helpful and one of the key features that sets it apart from the various standard Hitachi models. I also love the sleek design, which is a bit less “hospital” feeling with all of the horsepower of the original Hitachi. I believe they have made cordless versions in the past, though I think you might have to order from the UK to find one.

doxy-massager-black

I’ve heard mixed reviews about the waterproof cordless Lelo, though in general their products are some of the prettiest and sleekest on the market. My own Lelo is small and has a gorgeous design (smaller hand unit, not a wand), but I’m afraid doesn’t have quite the motor power that I need to have a truly mind-blowing experience. One of the bigger models (pictured below) will definitely have a stronger vibration to it than the small units, but the issue with cordless wands is always that you have to recharge them and risk a weaker vibration than models which plug into the wall. The upshot is, of course, that it’s waterproof, which makes it worth getting if you love playtime in the bath, shower or pool.

Lelo Cordless Vibrator

There are also lots of smaller versions of the classic wand out there, such as the Wanachi, though I personally find the motor speed is not strong enough to merit buying one. I would rather either use a smaller, classic insertable vibrator or a larger, highly capable exterior wand, and not waste my money on a middle-of the road purchase that satisfies neither requirement. I do know some people who like their the smaller models though, so if you’re still struggling to decide I would advise going in-store to somewhere like Babeland to sample the various speeds before you invest.

Wanachi mini wand

 

Attachments and Accessories

Whichever wand you decide to get, make sure you try at least one attachment. There are quite a few available now, both for men and women, and they are usually pretty affordable. Most of the insertables can be used both vaginally and anally, with the exception of the double-penetration caps which are meant for women only (see second image below). There are also lots of cock sheaths you can get which are useful if you want a unique, robotic-handjob type experience or simply if you lose patience with your male partner’s procrastinating member. If you decide you don’t like the attachment you’ve purchased after using it, please do us all a favor and don’t return it. Vibrators may help you unleash your impulses, but there is still some basic etiquette required!

Hitachi Vibrator Sex Toy Female Vibrator Sextoy Dick Attachment Vibrator Femdom

 

Hygiene: Soap and Water

Please clean your vibrators after every use, if possible. In addition to helping maintain the pleasant smell, taste and appearance of your toy, it’s also just a good habit to get into for sanitation. You can definitely catch STD’s from swapping it between yourself and your partner during sex, so bear that in mind and proceed with caution! If you’re too lazy to wash your toy with soap and water between uses, just wrap it in a condom and gently dry off any condom-lube on the outside after you’re done. I usually double-bag my Hitachi when I use it on a male, as sometimes the first condom will break with vigorous use. The ridges on the original model can be hard to fully clean, even with disinfectant wipes, so condoms are extra handy for cutting down on cleaning time.

 

Vibrator Shame: Get Over It!

If you still feel ashamed of buying such an audacious cum-tool, you should know that these things have been around for decades. There’s even a rather darling scene about a Hitachi at the end of Exit to Eden, that hilarious mid-90’s romantic comedy about a kinky sex island. Rosie O’Donnell’s character pulls one out of Dan Aykroyd’s bag, and he bashfully admits to having purchased it in order to resurrect his failed marriage. If a middle-aged, sexuallyepressed, vanilla doofus like him can buy one, so can you!

Mistress Darcy Max Relaxing wm

This is a candid snap taken when I was relaxing with a few friends in London last year. I came across it as I was tidying up my computer and thought, why not: I’ll give you all a little glimpse into my personal life. But I also want to give you the parameters for this privileged information so that you don’t ever take my gifts for granted.

Most ProDommes have personal lives that are very separate from their professional personas. I would imagine the same is true of most people, from NFL players to runway models. And most of my clients are successful professionally, so I know it can be true for malesubs as much as FemDommes. My personal and professional self are very separate. Sort of. There’s lots of reasons for that, some of which you can guess at, some of which you’ve probably never thought about.

If I’m kinky 24/7 I get burned out. To channel and express a lot of high-intensity sexual energy requires tremendous fuel, and if I Domme hard, I must usually rest hard. This means that sometimes after a session I want to do the furthest thing from BDSM. I like to occasionally clean the entire studio myself, a mundane task that puts me in an almost meditative state. I don’t always have the hours to spare for that, obviously, so I outsource it to my slaves and helpers most of the time, but anything that works my body and relaxes my mind is an important counterweight to my job. If I need a quick de-stress I’ll hit the gym and watch “my shows” while I’m on the treadmill. My favorite show is The Walking Dead, but I also loved every episode of Boardwalk Empire and True Detective season one. I’m currently working my way through Daredevil with the orgasm-inspiring Charlie Cox. I like action-packed television because it transports me far away from the intimacy of my sessions, while at the same time giving me that delicious rush that adrenaline junkies like myself so often crave.

One element of BDSM that takes a lot of energy, purely because it requires intense discernment and focus, is making it about the other person. In professional situations, and especially with subs who I may not know all that well or might be seeing for the first time, there has to be at least some attention to what they want: this is integral to “consent” and also to repeat customers. I don’t mean service domination, which I personally detest in my own practice, but an acknowledgement of the sub’s needs, interests, and limitations in order to integrate them throughout the session as much as is appropriate. I must first listen to what they tell me they want, then look, listen and feel to what they want that they haven’t told me; this is a deeper level of listening as sometimes subs either aren’t aware of their more profound needs or may not know how to articulate them. Then there’s a third step of taking what I’ve received from them and pushing it through the filter of my own desire; I must literally outsmart each sub, figuring out on a case by case basis how to behave within the structure of their submission while still maintaining control. It’s not always easy, though I have gotten better at it over the years. Sometimes a client will have a lot of resistance to being actually out of control, instead preferring to live in the fantasy of submission. This of course creates a whole host of other complications and energy-draining detours, which is part of the reason I charge so much.

If I’m dominating in my personal life, I usually expend less energy, because I’m not taking energy to feel someone out (if they are a familiar sub or partner), not filtering their desires through my own, and almost never dealing with anyone who has resistance to submission. When I spend time with a personal partner, there is also usually more chemistry in the room than with my clients. I’m able to focus on what I want, which feeds what he or she wants, which feeds back into me in a beautiful, horny cycle. This is the ecosystem of desire that professional sessions try to emulate, and while it is literally my job to engineer chemistry with all of my clients, it is of course easier and less tiring to relax into the chemistry I already have with the lucky subs in my personal life.

One of the things that makes my professional session so intense is that I draw on reality, which often constitutes emotional edge play. It is a way for me to avoid feeling like I’m serving YOU, since many times the client will participate in the scene initially only insomuch as it aligns with his fantasy of how the scene should play out. For me there is nothing more satisfying than toying with your everyday persona–not just the “sub self” who willfully visits me in the dungeon, but the “real self” that walks out of the session and back onto the subway, quaking and disoriented as you make your way home. There is a part of every sub that wants to surpass the fantasy of surrender and enter the free fall of actual helplessness. You’re still in partial control when you present your fantasy self, so I prefer to take it further and wrench every scrap of control away from you by entering the forbidden self: your vanilla. I will always honor your hard limits and discretion, even if I intentionally give you the impression that I will not, but I also want access to the parts of your psyche that you’re not willing to give to other Dommes.

I myself will frequently draw on my personal life in session, teasing you with details of my pastimes, love life, thoughts, desires, and interests. Sometimes I want you to think I want you. I almost never do. Sometimes I want to fill your head with thoughts of us as a couple, and how I might look next to you at a dinner party, or on our honeymoon. Other times I want you to feel that you know me so well you can tell me anything, doling out just enough detail about my own life to make you trust me with the full details of yours. Most of what you say to me will be used against you, at some point, but only with the ultimate purpose of helping you become a better person. Benevolent malevolence, if you will. I have a tremendous memory for detail in person, and a delicate eye: I can pic you apart with a single glance, drawing conclusions about who you are and what you do without you ever speaking a word. After seeing thousands of clients over the years with many of my own personal relationships along the way, I’ve developed a bullshit radar that can detect your lies before you’ve even spoken them. By the same token, I am an expert liar, and many times I’m more convincing when I’m deceiving you than when I’m telling the truth. So in short: you can never be sure whether what I’m saying is true or false, but I am almost always aware of whether you are.

All of the above is interesting, but it’s just preamble: colorful tech-talk for those of you who enjoy the nerdy how and why of submission. I have been thinking about how to word this next part for many days now, since I’m becoming increasingly comfortable with the integration of my two selves and want to preserve and honor both my kink and my vanilla. They could not be farther apart, but at the same time one bolsters the other. My strength as a Domme comes in large part from the fact that I am brave enough to bring my authentic self into my sessions, including moments of vulnerability. By the same token I am gaining power and ferocity in my vanilla career by embracing my sadistic Femdom self, allowing the full alpha to show up and at times take over in my personal life.

The most relevant point I want to make, however, is that you must always honor whichever self I choose to show you, and don’t ever, EVER demand to know more. If I share something with you, it is because it benefits me to do so, not because I am trying to make you feel good, entice you, seduce you, or further stiffen your vulgar erection. In other words: I share because I feel like sharing, not because you want me to share. If you pose a question about my personal life it is, most of the time, either a grasping for power or a pathetic flailing towards your delusion of being my lover. Knowledge puts you on a more equal footing with me, as does the simulation of “regular conversation,” which neither of us actually wants. I may imitate casual dialogue in my time with you, but it’s merely another trick in my bag; the goal is to disorient you, displace your ego, and eventually destroy the person you thought you were and rebuild you in the image of who I think you should be. Ironically I am committed to your catharsis, and you sabotage that when you insist on being my equal.

Are you starting to see the idiocy of assuming you have any right to my personal life, or could even understand it if I told you everything you wanted to know? My inner world is as vast and breathtaking as the night sky, and though you may be a devoted astrologist, obsessed with every glimmering detail I reveal, you do not own that sky and cannot demand that it reveal itself any more than it does on any given night. If you could see every single star in the sky, you would see nothing but light; the night would evaporate and you would go blind. Better to enjoy the details as I see fit to dispense them: sporadic and fine, like exquisite candies dropped from my lips onto yours.

If this poetry is lost of any of you, let me be more clear: don’t ask me about my personal life. Don’t ask if I’m single, don’t ask if I’m married. Don’t ask my weight or age or orientation or name, or where my family lives, or what my childhood was like. Don’t ask what I do “in real life.” Don’t ask if I’ve had sex recently, or if I masturbate before, after or during sessions. Don’t believe me when I say I want to date you. Don’t believe me when I talk about our honeymoon. Don’t take my sex-chat as an invitation: it has everything to do with me and nothing to do with you. You’re another item on my to do list. I’ll complete you with the energy and passion that I complete everything else during my day, but I will always be more special to you than you are to me. You want it that way, otherwise you’d just have a normal girlfriend.

We create Gods and Goddesses for a reason: we want someone to look up to. When you’ve descended too low and hoisted that Goddess up too high, the disparity can sometimes become unbearable for your fragile ego. It’s then that you start with the question-asking. When you demand that Goddess share herself with you, you tear her down from her pedestal and try to scrabble up on top of it yourself. Just stop. Let me be mysterious. Let me be powerful. Let me be the vast unknown before you. Quiet yourself, and sit in the still of the night, watching the sparkling sky with a sense of awe, wonder and gratitude. If you’re lucky and you wait long enough, you just might catch a glimpse of a shooting star.

!NEWTON P20-21

Deep down, I’m a woman of simple tastes: a little kink, a lot of sex, some community and a good night’s sleep (which usually comes after any of the first three). Yet I continually find myself having to venture outside of New York for all of the above. This place is a mecca for the arts and commerce, a hothouse of talent where your most impossible dreams can be launched and applauded. It’s also the loneliest place I know.

To start with, America does not do kink very well. Say what you will about our ‘oversexed society’ here in the West, most of it is just a glittering veneer that masks some very strange, puritanical ideas. As a result our society is caught in not an oversexualization, but a premature sexualization of girls and boys, which introduces sex at too early an age thereby creating immediate sex-shame. This is all driven by corporate greed that uses sexual identity as a way to sell more products to more people.

As a result of our contentious relationship with our own sexuality, Americans aren’t even close to understanding or respecting kink—how can we when the bedrock of our society is made up of sex-shame-sex-shame? We have the not-so-intelligent intelligentsia ranting against consensual BDSM, at times using gross journalistic misconduct and cleverly disguised bigotry in order to appear progressive. We also have 50 Shades of “Damaged Goods,” which has raked in $566M in box office sales and well over 100 million copies in print. Whether BDSM is being used as an ontological baseball bat against itself, or sensationalized to make E.L. James and a small portion of Hollywood very wealthy, the result is the same: objectifying a way of life and ignoring the greater lessons that BDSM has to teach us. Did I enjoy the movie? Yes. Does that make me a disgusting hypocrite? Yes. But at least I’m upfront about my hypocrisy, unlike most of the country.

Of course it could be worse: we’re not Russia, which announced this year it would suspend the drivers licenses of fetishists. However, we’re not Germany or Japan either, which have been admired for decades for their embrace of kink and alternative erotica. Our sexuality is wedged begrudgingly in the middle between hyper-liberal and hyper-conservative, as evidenced by the US media’s obsession with anything celebrity-kink related and local politics, i.e. the dungeon raids in New York in 2007-08. I take the point that many of the public BDSM scandals fall into a sort of gray area, as they often involve either ProDommes or high-profile professionals-as-clients; the involvement of either calls into question all sorts of legalities and insinuations of prostitution, etc., which raises a whole different set of questions that has nothing to do with BDSM. However, even the lifestyle kink scene in the US is wan compared to some other countries. In this respect, globally speaking, we are simply not as progressive as we like to think.

From personal experience, I have found the New York lifestyle scene particularly distasteful. Most of the community here seems to fall into three categories: cool and cliquey; hideous and scary; or aggressive and rude. I cut my teeth in the London fetish scene where you will find people dressing up for EVERY EVENT. Even the worst events in London are well attended and have a few promising newcomers to chat with. The established kink community there is terrifically welcoming to fresh faces, and it’s nigh impossible to leave an event without making wonderful new friends—many of whom will be gorgeous, fascinating, and otherwise “normal.” In the US, I’m glad if I come away from an event with a single hottie on my arm—though I did manage to pull a total fox at a party in Philadelphia last weekend…tell ya ‘bout her some other time. The sad truth is you’ll find more quality, public BDSM events in one week in London than you will in most US cities in a month—including New York.

There are noble efforts from The NY Fetish Tribe, but I always leave their parties feeling that I haven’t actually made meaningful connections—most of the “fun people” all seem to know each other already and are disinterested in making new friends. Or maybe my resting bitch face is just not particularly well received. I have also found many of the New York kink events to be heavily MaleDom/femsub oriented: recipe for awkward Darcy. There are events here and there at the house dungeons in New York, but as an independent Domme I feel a bit gauche crashing a ‘house’ party. And the last high profile, private “BDSM play party” I went to in Manhattan was definitely a sex party. I was yawning after an hour, annoyed at having wasted my latex in front of all the naked swingers.

The most unsettling thing about kink, and about New York, and about kink in New York, is that everything is so transactional. I understand the inherent absurdity of such a statement coming from a ProDomme. However, I’m honest about my transactions: unapologetic, upfront, and dedicated to creating a happy exchange for both parties. For the most part, commercial usage of kink is a three-way transaction in which only two parties receive something: the corporation pretends it’s selling BDSM and what it stands for, when really it is selling fashion, music, film, cars, or pistachios; the customer gets to feel “edgy”; and the BDSM community receives either nothing or less than nothing, as their identity and values are appropriated and then displaced. Part of my role as a D-list celebrity in the fetish scene (D for Darcy, of course) is to raise awareness about kink in a way that gives back to the culture itself, slowly integrating it into the mainstream in a manner that is respectful and inclusive.

Dating in New York is as frenzied and cutthroat as a #LillyforTarget stampede (or if you’re a guy, trying to get an early release of Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare). Kinky dating here is only slightly better. The reason I prefer kink in New York to sex in New York is that at least I can understand the landscape of kink and malesub/MaleDom desire, whereas with vanilla dating everything is so gosh-darned ambiguous that I generally have no idea if someone likes me until months later after they’ve moved on. Kinky New York men are similar to vanilla New York men in that they are generally uncouth, agenda-driven, flaky and jaw-droppingly selfish—but as a Domme I have a skill set and wardrobe that many guys in the scene want (see Top 10 Reasons to Date a ProDomme), so I become part of their agenda and can at least make it onto their “to do” list. I have a lot to offer as a vanilla woman as well, but in a city where supermodels literally walk the streets, it can be tough to hold a ‘nilla guy’s attention for very long.

I would be less grumpy about all of this if I could get a good night’s rest. I should have listened to what they all say—this place really doesn’t ever sleep. They were telling the truth! I have suffered chronic insomnia since the day I moved here, partly due to the sheer energetic momentum coursing through the streets. But it’s also just a noisy place. Noisy, busy, exciting, with so much squandered potential that it makes me crazy in a way that is both funny and terrifying at the same time.

What’s the solution? I could continue to get on a plane every two months to London. I could keep running, keep dating abroad, and keep hooking up with random New York male models that then disappear into the skyscrapers. Or I could start to build the kind of city in which I want to live one relationship at a time. Until New York is a fashionable, cultured, kink-friendly haven of love, fun and community. Can one woman really make a difference? My clients tell me almost without fail that I’ve changed the way they think about domination. If I can make such a difference to them in a matter of hours, think what I could do if I put my energy towards creating the perfect city, day in day out, for a few years. Or better yet—perhaps my writing will one day reach the hundreds of millions that E.L. James has. Each interaction is a chance to create the community you want, each word you speak is a small brick in the wall of your greatness.

You have tremendous power, even you subs—as much as me or anyone else. Start now. Spread awareness. Speak acceptance. Give freely. Communicate honestly. Love openly. Find calm.

And if you’re a kinky male model, take me the hell to dinner.

These gorgeous words make me think of the truly powerful women I am blessed to know: my fellow Dommes who understand strength, humility, integrity, and the beauty of compassion. I love this sonnet and am forever awed by Shakespeare’s unearthly understanding of the human condition.

They that have power to hurt, and will do none,

That do not do the thing, they most do show,

Who moving others, are themselves as stone,

Unmoved, cold, and to temptation slow:

They rightly do inherit heaven’s graces,

And husband nature’s riches from expense.

They are the lords and owners of their faces,

Others, but stewards of their excellence:

The summer’s flower is to the summer sweet.

Though to itself, it only live and die,

But if that flower with base infection meet,

The basest weed outbraves his dignity:

For sweetest things turn sourest by their deeds,

Lilies that fester, smell far worse than weeds.

For everyone who is curious about my standards…”down there”….this one is 8″ long by 6″ thick. A gorgeous specimen of man. I have a few Bulls in each country I live in. There’s nothing worse than a woman bored. If you think you have something even better to offer (as in 9 or better), feel free to drop me an email.