When my good friend Karley Sciortino, a.k.a. Slutever, asked me to weigh in on golden showers (what are they? who likes them? why?) for Vogue Magazine after the #GoldenShowers scandal with the president elect, I of course said yes. I was delighted to have such an esteemed publication ask for my thoughts, and immediately took the opportunity to demystify kink and offer a pro-golden shower stance.

As I said in the article, this is the first redeeming thing I’ve heard about @realDonaldTrump, and I refuse to kink-shame over something like this. What I did think was strange, however, was that so far in the memos, the alleged incident involved him watching several prostitutes urinate on a bed–not urinate on him. First of all, what a waste of a scene! Second of all, this is not a submissive act: watching women urinate themselves is far more dominant. I’m left wondering, as usual, just what was his agenda? Was he attempting to be submissive to the women in that Moscow hotel room, or was he hoping they would debase themselves with their “performance”? Either way, I’m intrigued.

(Now if only Mike Pence would follow suit! #DoubleEnder)

Full article at

golden showers

Darcy told me that, generally speaking, people who enjoy golden showers can be broken down into three main categories:

1) People who have an association with urine either from an early sexual memory, or from an early love bonding memory—for instance, during potty training—that later became sexualized.

2) People who have created a bond with their partner through urination play. Darcy told me, “Doing this for the first time with someone who you’re dating is very intense—it’s a bonding experience, and creates intimacy. It’s a way to have an exciting or maybe scary experience with someone, and come out the other side closer than you were before.”

3) People who are drawn to the “filth” aspect of golden showers. These are usually submissives who already have an interest in sexual humiliation and degradation, and being pissed on becomes an extension of that. This category also includes “human toilets”—so people whose fantasy is specifically to be a toilet for a dominant.

According to Darcy, “Golden showers are an aquired taste. It’s kind of like calamari: You might think it’s disgusting, but have you ever tried it? Golden showers are basically the calamari of the kink community.” For a lot of people, golden showers are just an alternative way of being intimate with someone. Darcy told me, “I’m a dominant, which means I’m usually the one doing the peeing, but if Channing Tatum wanted to pee on me, I’d be like, Yeah, go.”

Darcy also noted that it’s rare to meet someone who has a kink only for golden showers, meaning that someone who is into piss play will likely have other kinks as well. “You can sexualize anything,” she said. “It’s just about building a bridge in the brain that wraps a certain activity or object in a cloak of eroticism.” The more you know.

Mac Fetish

The infamous Slutever just sent me an interview we did ages ago for Mac Cosmetics’ Magazine. I love her body of work as a journalist – she’s one of the great, iconic voices of progressive sexuality in the US right now. We’ve done a few interviews over the years, and they are inevitably insightful, provocative, fun and, on occasion, truly hilarious. Thanks gorgeous, for another great piece!

Karley Sciortino: Many people think the role of a dominatrix is simply to dominate and abuse people. They don’t realize that often sessions are catered to a client’s specific desires. Would you say your job is to execute you clients’ fantasies’ in a believable or pleasurable way?

Mistress Dee: That’s part of it. There are different kinds of dommes, just like there are different types of lawyers or chefs or anything else in the world. Some dommes feel that the service they provide is to execute people’s fantasies verbatim. Personally, I start by saying, “give me your full list of interests” – this is where their fantasies come into play – as well as a list of their hard limits. This gives me an idea of their mental landscape. So in the session, I don’t only address what they want, but also what they might not even know they want – this gives me the power. But I always have to address enough of the client’s interests that he or she continues to want to play the game – because it is a type of game; it’s removed from reality, which is what makes it BDSM, rather than actual physical or psychological abuse. I can’t completely tell the client to just do whatever I want, because then he’ll never come back to session with me again, and ultimately one of my fantasies is to make a lot of money, so I need clients.

Full interview here. Click on “see full feature” at the bottom.