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The rumors are true: I’m back in Boston Sep 14-16. Book now to make sure I have time to see you! I’ll be packing for whipping, spanking, bondage, choking, gagging, feminization, dick sucking, humiliation, toilet training, and public scenes. If you think you’re brave enough, you should get in now while I’m still making the rounds to Boston this year!

 

I’m so happy to know such amazing women in this industry. Aleta Cai is one of those women. She and I are doing doubles in August and September for anyone who is ready for a few hours of total sensory overload. Aleta has a background in psychology, so she really knows how to destroy your mind while she’s destroying your body at the same time.

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Just the other day the two of us did an amazing medical scene with some needles. Aleta seems to have a bevy of hidden talents. Her favorite things include mental D/s, humiliation, slut training and predicaments. All of our sessions will be either outcall or incall at my studio in Brooklyn.

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Fill out my online booking form to inquire about availability and rates, or you may email her directly at mistressaletacai@gmail.com.

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I’m thrilled to be offering doubles with this gorgeous woman, Kinky Alex. She’s got all of the BDSM bases covered and loves doing doubles with me when I’m in London. Whether you’re interested in a sub, a kinky fetish that perhaps you can’t find a Domme to satisfy, or even a naughty GFE experience, Alex is game for whatever. Surely you know by now some of my favorite sessions involve a slave girl by my side…

I fell in love with this beauty the moment I laid eyes on her. 5’7″ and in her mid-20’s, and as smart as they come, she’s enough to keep my hands full even without a slave present. Make sure you bring your best self when you inquire though; all requests should be polite and intelligent, as both she and I are extremely selective about who we see. With her travel schedule, I’m not even sure we have much space left while I’m in London. There may still be space on June 27, 28 and 29.

I’ll be seeing slaves with her at a private space in Central London. Please fill out my online booking form and email Alex separately as well to introduce yourself.

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Enjoying a hotel bath on one of my many journeys around the world.

I’m back in my beloved Boston June 12-14, staying in Back Bay and excited to whip you all into shape…literally. If you’re ready for a truly special BDSM experience, book your appointment asap. Unless I’ve seen you in Boston recently, in which case….are you recovered? I hope so. I want to turn your mind upside down all over again.

Liz Taylor Diamonds

Goddess Elizabeth Taylor

Nothing says love like precious gems, so when you’re ready to show your Goddess exactly how much you cherish her, be sure to follow this step-by-step guide. Messing up any one of these aspects of the jewelry ritual could mean your Domme doesn’t feel your love like you intended, and you might end up making a very expensive mistake! But if you get it right, you will stand out from all her other suitors. Speaking from experience: the right piece of jewelry in the right way will make your Goddess remember you forever.

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Goddess Audrey Hepburn

Colors

Find out what your Goddess’ favorite colors are. Ask in general, and at a later time also find out specifically what her favorite jewelry choices are. Does she like silver, gold, or rose gold? Does she like diamonds or emeralds? What are the jewels and precious metals she wears the most?

Marilyn Monroe Diamonds

Goddess Marilyn Monroe

Types

Ask your Goddess outright: “Ma’am, if you were to receive jewelry as a gift, would you prefer rings, bracelets, necklaces, earrings or something else?” Look at her jewelry collection if you have access to her bedroom (and you feel it might be appropriate to take a peek), and assess what her tastes are so that you can stay in the family of things she likes. It is also totally reasonable to ask her to prepare a Pinterest board or “look book” of jewelry she wants. It is effort on her part, but if you are about to make an investment of several thousand, you need to get it right. And trust me: she won’t mind making the effort.

If you are unable to buy REAL precious gems, you can settle for costume jewelry. I love costume jewelry, personally, and am not elitist about it. For business meetings and day wear, however, I prefer real jewels (diamonds, emeralds, etc.) so it’s good to have a range.

Rita Hayworth Diamonds

Goddess Rita Hayworth

Purchase

Go somewhere reputable if you are buying precious gems and be sure to get a gift receipt! Just in case she wants a different color or style. Again: it’s likely several thousand you’re spending, so you want to make sure you get it right. If you are buying costume jewelry make sure it is good quality costume jewelry and won’t just fall apart. Nothing is more embarrassing than buying a gift which breaks shortly after you deliver it.

If you purchase something on sale, you better be DAMN SURE it is perfect for her. Does it match her favorite colors and styles? Is it something she has on her wish list or Pinterest board? If not, be ready to take the gamble that she will be disappointed.

Lauren Bacall Pearls

Goddess Lauren Bacall

Presentation

Every single time you present jewelry to a woman, you must either make sure it’s in a nice box, pouch or bag of some kind, or that you have prepared the environment around you to act as the “dressing” for you to give it to her by hand. Don’t just come up to her in the bathroom when she’s putting on makeup and hold out a chain. Make it a sacred moment between the two of you. Charge it with some emotional weight and power, as you have made quite the investment of time and money by now and deserve to finish the ritual properly!

Your Goddess will appreciate that you took the time not only to select the perfect piece for her, but that you made sure to set the scene. Some options to aid your setting are: low lighting, candles, music, a lunch or dinner, a surprise in bed while she relaxes with a formal breakfast or tea service. You can present on your knees even if it’s not an engagement ring: your Goddess will appreciate the gesture of chivalry, especially if you’re a submissive.

Sophia Loren Diamonds

Goddess Sophia Lauren

Gratitude

Be sure to offer it with an air of gratitude, and don’t expect anything in return except a smile from her. You might offer a few words as well, like “thank you for being the perfect woman, and inspiring me everyday with your natural beauty. These jewels only highlight what is already flawless elegance.”

She will read in your eyes that you are being authentic, and the fact that you ask nothing in return will make her want to give you everything.

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The author showcasing a few recently acquired diamonds. Thanks, slave!

 

 

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Honoring boundaries is a crucial, if not THE crucial, part of kink. We’ve all heard the handy phrase, ‘the difference between BDSM and abuse is consent.’ It’s true. No matter how extreme you are you must still obtain tacit consent in every scene. Even consensual nonconsent requires an understanding of your partner to the point that you believe with very little room for error that they will ultimately benefit and/or consent to what you are doing at some point, even if they do not consent during the scene itself. For the purposes of this article, however, I will largely not be speaking to consensual nonconsent. Most kinksters aren’t ready for that kind of edge play, and so you can assume I’m speaking instead about the rest of the kink world.

Additionally, although submissives are usually the ones who complain about consent breaches, it is important to remember that Dominants have boundaries as well. Everything I say below applies to both Dom/mes and subs, and it is important for each partner to honor and respect the limits of the other no matter which side you’re on.

Any partner who does not honor your limits after you have communicated them *unless there is a very clear and sensible reason* is most likely not someone you should continue to scene with. Care is at the bedrock of BDSM, and we must each do our part to care for our partners, wether Dom/me, sub or otherwise.

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Bring it Up 

It’s not fair to expect your partner to be a mind reader, although if you’re with a great partner he or she may sometimes be just that! Nevertheless, take responsibility for yourself and be clear about your limits upfront. Do NOT assume your Dom/me or sub will know your limits. There are no “standard limits,” and each person is different. What’s “light” for one player may be a “hell no” for someone else, with no rhyme or reason as to why. Varying degrees of sensitivity are what make BDSM so exciting and also so dangerous, so be sure to cover your bases every time!

Just because your partner does not ask does not mean you don’t have a responsibility to tell. Bringing a victim mentality into a scene is unfair to your partner and invites unnecessary pain and anxiety for you. Take the initiative and state your boundaries, whether Dom/me or sub. It’s the safe way to play.

If you’re a Dom/me, try to find a way to ascertain limits. Sometimes you might not want to ask outright (especially if you’re into heavy psychological play and mind fucking), but the more clandestine you are about assessing limits, the more certain you have to be that you’re not wrong.

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Timing is Everything

By the time a scene has started it’s usually too late to respectfully (and sometimes even effectively) discuss limits, though of course if you leave it till then and wish to communicate your boundaries, you have no other choice but to do so in the heat of the moment. A Dom/me or sub has likely already put some thought into the scene and started getting excited about the potential activities therein. Most importantly, if you’re into any sort of psychological play, a Dom/me may very well need time to process your limits before the scene begins in order to adequately prepare their strategies and tactics. Derailing someone’s plans or passion when you’re mid-scene is at best inconsiderate, and at worst, a way to ruin the relationship.

The best time to discuss limits is before you are in the space for a scene. It’s important to be in a neutral, non-arousal state so that you can think clearly and be as articulate as possible about your needs. You also need to be able to listen to and respect the limits of your partner, and it can be hard to do so if you’re in the throes of subspace. If needed, you can email your partner a list before you meet, hand them a hand-written note before the scene has begun, or even schedule an in-person coffee or meal a few days before the scene in order to go over your limits in detail. A good dominant will want to get a sense for your mental landscape well ahead of time, in order to gauge how to best handle you.

If you don’t communicate beforehand because you’ve “forgotten,” and maintaining your boundaries in a scene is important to you, then you have a responsibility to convey them during the scene, and your partner has a duty to listen. It might be bad timing, but it’s better than not doing so at all. Your partner does not want to see you unhappy, and it’s not in anyone’s best interests to walk away from a scene having damaged the other person or created a net-negative effect on someone’s life.

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It’s Not What You Say But How You Say It

Ideally you have agreed to do a scene with someone because you feel you are, at a core level, compatible. Once you’ve established that, you’ve tacitly agreed to be open and respectful of each others’ limits as well. If you don’t jive with the person’s general kink interests, you should reconsider your reasons for wanting to play with him or her. If a person hates pain, for example, and you want to do a heavy corporal session with them, you need to know exactly what you’re doing and have a lot of experience in that sort of challenging “conversion” scenario. It’s not okay to “convince” someone away from their limits without either significant expertise or their consent.

No respectable Dom/me is going to insult your limitations or make you feel stupid for having them, as long as you have presented them properly. For instance, if you have a fear of soda pop and ask that soda pop never be used in a scene, you should make sure to preface it with, “I know this is ridiculous and illogical, so please bear with me, but…” That way you acknowledge the irrational nature of your limit and your Dom/me will be able to come to terms with it. We Dominants are actually great at plopping things in the category of ‘No Good Reason For This But Just Accept It,” and enjoy quietly laughing at your endearing weaknesses—they make you who you are, and you expressing your vulnerabilities makes us feel closer to you. Just make sure you bring each limitation up with utmost respect and, when appropriate, an apology.

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Good openers for subs:

“Ma’am/Sir, would it be all right if we talked about some no-go areas for me?”

“I’ve prepared a list of my hard limits, would it be acceptable to email it to you in advance, please?

“I’m afraid I have some rather ridiculous issues around ______, and I would love to be able to talk about it with you before we meet. Unfortunately _______ takes me totally out my good headspace, so I want to let you know upfront so that we don’t get interrupted.

“I’ve had some previous trauma with _______, and I would love to be able to tell you about it so that I’m not triggered during our scene. Is that okay?”

Good openers for Dom/mes:

“I will honor and respect your boundaries at all times, but I need you to know that I also have boundaries. Are you prepared to hear them?

“There are a few behaviors from submissives that really bother me. Can we talk about them? I don’t want you to make the same mistakes others have made in the past.”

“If you do _______, ________ or ________ the scene will end immediately. Do you understand?”

“I hate ______. Don’t do it. Ever.”

How Very

Discovering a Limitation

On occasion you will realize that something that was previously not a hard limit has become one. It is imperative that you communicate this to your partner as soon as possible, but that you also give it proper care and consideration in your language. The absolute worst time to figure something like this out is in a scene, but unfortunately that’s usually the time when it happens.

The most important thing is to understand your partner is not a mind reader, and that if you have a realization they do not necessarily know that. As far as they’re concerned, unless otherwise noted in your body or words, everything is hunky dory and okay to proceed as normal. If you are the one who has discovered new information, you are the one interrupting the scene. You therefore owe your partner an apology of some sort (whether inferred or literal), no matter whether you are Dom/me or sub. This is not so much a rule as basic etiquette. You would apologize if you changed social plans with a friend, why would you not apologize if you changed plans with an intimate play partner?

Consensual Nonconsent

Good openers for discovering a limit:

“I’m sorry to have to say this, but I have just had a revelation about ______. I don’t think I can do it, or at least right now. I’m so sorry to bring it up in the middle like this.”

“You have done nothing wrong whatsoever here, but I am feeling very uncomfortable with ______. I didn’t realize this until just now. I’m really sorry.”

“May I say something? It’s out of the blue, I know. I’m feeling really upset around ______ for some reason, would you be okay with doing something else for the time being and perhaps talking about this afterwards?”

Spitting Femdom

Resilience and Forgiveness

Having been recently inspired by The Dirty Gentleman’s events here in New York, as well as the high protocol D/s group that is known collectively as the Guild of Voluptuaries, I want to highlight the need for resilience. We don’t play with actual Gods and Goddesses, we play with other human beings. Human beings make mistakes. Constantly. You WILL make mistakes with people in the scene, eventually, and others WILL make mistakes with you. The key is to maintain compassion for yourself and for others, and remember to take ownership for your own communication and manners at every possible moment.

While there are certainly instances of abuse in our community, you should always background check the overall reputation of a play partner as best you can – not with second and third-hand information but with others who have ACTUALLY played with them. If someone has a load of play partners who have had bad experiences (and you have heard this FIRST-HAND), then perhaps reconsider whether it’s a good idea to play with them. Once you’ve signed on for a scene with someone, though, it’s your responsibility to follow proper etiquette around communicating your limits.

Hard Limits

If you deem someone cool enough to scene with, hopefully you also deem him or her of a worthy character (if not, don’t play with them!). If someone has worthy character, they will be willing to take responsibility for their mistakes and attempt to make amends should an error occur. Value resilience—your own and your partner’s—and make your own respectful communication top priority. You will significantly decrease the amount of bad experiences you have in so doing.

The goal is a net positive experience, on both ends. Maintain manners, communicate with courtesy, and your scenes will unfold safely, happily, and worry-free!

Femdom Classic
Boston Dominatrix

NEXT BOSTON DATES: MAY 7-10

Overjoyed to announce I’ll be making monthly trips to Boston for the next six months as part of my world tour. I want to make sure to give you Boston boys and girls your fill before I close my doors to new clients in the fall.

Please fill out my online booking form to get on my radar.

I’ll be offering bondage, humiliation, cuckolding, forced bi, toilet training, deep psychological domination and D/s edge play, public scenes, corporal (canes, crops, floggers, whips), roleplay, and as much slave training and degradation as you can handle.

As always, staying in Central Boston: Back Bay, Beacon Hill or the Financial District. I require deposits on all sessions.

IMG_6881I have cherished the past eight years as a full-time, full-on, world-renowned, jet-setting dominatrix. My slaves have been loyal, my rent has been high, and the parties have been legend. However, this is the year that things will start to change. The Year of the Darcy–perhaps more so than any other year.

  1. In six months’ time I will, at the very least, discontinue seeing new clients.
  2. I may opt to cease hourly sessions altogether.
  3. If I do end my hourly session practice, I will instead create infrastructure for a handful of financially comfortable (read: rich) personal slaves with whom I can cultivate positive, profound and psychologically intimate D/s relationships.

If you have always dreamed of seeing me, now is the time. I will be essentially going on a world tour in the next six months, and will attempt to visit as many cities as I can to meet those of you who have been begging me to visit. However, if you do not see your city on my travel schedule when it is announced, you should inquiring about flying me to you. I can’t guarantee my availability, but if I have the time and your references check out, I would be happy to make the trip. Anyone who wishes to be grandfathered into my favor should I continue to do hourly sessions needs to see me between now and October 1. After that, you will be unable to see me in person if we have never met.

This is not an official retirement, nor is this me leaving domination. I will be a Domme for as long as my feet will fit into a pair of heels. This is an expansion of my practice; a necessary evolution of my self and my business which has been percolating for years. My D/s philosophies, writing, and overall scene presence will continue to thrive, and I will endeavor to be a force for good for BDSM now more than ever. My kink bonds will become deeper than ever before. I will grow as a Domme and, indeed, as a woman. I look forward to getting to know some of you over the next six months whom I never would have met otherwise, and this farewell tour will be one of the most enjoyable things I’ve ever done!

For those of you who are hesitant to start a relationship with me out of fear that I may opt out of hourly sessions in not-so-very-long, I would ask that you A) calm down B) consider the natural expiry date on everything good in life and C) ask yourself if you want your life to change irrevocably for the better. My track record is indisputable. Or you can take to twitter to see what my fans are saying. Book a session with me, you helpless little lamb. Now is your chance, and only now.

You may visit my booking page here. My tributes, for any appointments booked after the time of this writing, will reflect my limited availability.

I hope this news brings out the best in you: your courage, your chivalry, your grace, your faith. While I do love the sound of my own voice, I also practice what I preach, and this transition will mark a new and incredibly exciting phase for Darcy filled with joy and power.

Worship while you can, boys and girls. This Goddess is en route to heaven.

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Special treat for my London boys and girls – I will have a sub girl named Little Lunette available to join me for sessions on this trip and, most likely, all trips moving forward. She’s as gorgeous and as busy as I am, so be sure to book in advance.

Although Lunette’s limits are mostly the same as mine (no sex, oral, fluid exchange etc), she can take a hell of a beating. Alternately, you can watch me punish her and hope you don’t cum in your pants.

Please fill out my online booking form if you’ve not booked with me before. If you have, simply email me and mention you’re interested in a sub girl session with me and this gorgeous little girl. Looking forward to the adventures.

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I’m offering double Domme sessions in New York City with my good friend Goddess Aviva. If you’d like to set something up with one of us please fill out my online booking form, or email me if we’ve spoken before.

She and I are a wicked combination in session; most of our subs who experience the two of us together say they’ve never seen such chemistry. We’re both petite with amazing curves, and although it’s a bit embarrassing to admit, she might be an even bigger bitch than I am. Be sure to bring your best manners when you visit, and brush up on your foot massage skills for her as well.

While we both enjoy inflicting bondage, crossdressing, corporal punishment and the traditional fare of BDSM sessions, both Goddess Aviva and I are at our best when we’re utilizing hardcore D/s principles. This includes mind control, humiliation, behavior modification, high protocol, slave training, verbal restrictions, Goddess worship, and interrogation.

If you think you can handle us, I’ll be scheduling time at my studio with her as of mid-March. Oh and, slave girl available to boot (pun intended).